Life never quite goes the way we planned sometimes. Sometimes we think we are smooth sailing yet we do not see what's hidden beneath the boat. As we enjoy the beautiful sights that our journey brings our way, we have no idea of the dangers that lay in obscurity. Worse yet there are times that we can see that which heads our way but for some reason we naively decide that drastic preventative measures should be taken. Either way our ship is in danger.
Its in these moments (sadly), when everything is lost and our lives are changed forever, that we find who we truly are. When we find ourselves drowning and fighting to stay alive, it's these moments whether physically, emotionally, spiritually or financially that we are forced to either become a survivor or let life take us over. It pains me to say that my wife and I have been separated for a few months now and are in the process of going through a divorce. It has been a hard, stressful and painful time for the both of us. I do not wish to place blame on either of us, but in reality I shall. You see I believe that any marriage (especially in a Jesus following marriage)if it fails that is is he husbands fault. That is in the sense that is is the mans duty to be everything for his wife. Provider, Protector, Leader, Friend, etc... With that said, I can not move on till I apologize to my Wife for not being all of those things and more. I want to say sorry to Pastor Joe and Jill Harrison for putting all that hard work and counseling into our marriage (I personally feel like I have failed you guys). I thank Centro for making us feel at home when we were so far from our families. I ask that if any of you guys (and anyone else) reads this that you pray and continue praying for Sam that God would comfort her in this process.
Sometimes we can get distracted by all the things going by us and the wonder of what we are seeing. Sometimes we get caught up in the operation and maintenance of the boat we are in that we forget to realize that there are others in the boat with us. And if we don't protect them from any danger then we have indeed failed. I pray that God will forgive me for my mishaps and mistakes during this part of my journey. And what ever the future may hold for me, I will strive to release that potential that dwells inside. But I could not go forward until I atoned (however small it may be) for the mishaps and mistakes I've made to this point. I pray that the next chapter of this life holds lots of wonder and whimsy. But above all, I pray that I can learn to see the dangers, recognize the dangers and properly prepare to avoid most and make it through the rest.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Mishaps and Mistakes
Life never quite goes the way we planned sometimes. Sometimes we think we are smooth sailing yet we do not see what's hidden beneath the boat. As we enjoy the beautiful sights that our journey brings our way, we have no idea of the dangers that lay in obscurity. Worse yet there are times that we can see that which heads our way but for some reason we naively decide that drastic preventative measures should be taken. Either way our ship is in danger.
Its in these moments (sadly), when everything is lost and our lives are changed forever, that we find who we truly are. When we find ourselves drowning and fighting to stay alive, it's these moments whether physically, emotionally, spiritually or financially that we are forced to either become a survivor or let life take us over. It pains me to say that my wife and I have been separated for a few months now and are in the process of going through a divorce. It has been a hard, stressful and painful time for the both of us. I do not wish to place blame on either of us, but in reality I shall. You see I believe that any marriage (especially in a Jesus following marriage)if it fails that is is he husbands fault. That is in the sense that is is the mans duty to be everything for his wife. Provider, Protector, Leader, Friend, etc... With that said, I can not move on till I apologize to my Wife for not being all of those things and more. I want to say sorry to Pastor Joe and Jill Harrison for putting all that hard work and counseling into our marriage (I personally feel like I have failed you guys). I thank Centro for making us feel at home when we were so far from our families. I ask that if any of you guys (and anyone else) reads this that you pray and continue praying for Sam that God would comfort her in this process.
Sometimes we can get distracted by all the things going by us and the wonder of what we are seeing. Sometimes we get caught up in the operation and maintenance of the boat we are in that we forget to realize that there are others in the boat with us. And if we don't protect them from any danger then we have indeed failed. I pray that God will forgive me for my mishaps and mistakes during this part of my journey. And what ever the future may hold for me, I will strive to release that potential that dwells inside. But I could not go forward until I atoned (however small it may be) for the mishaps and mistakes I've made to this point. I pray that the next chapter of this life holds lots of wonder and whimsy. But above all, I pray that I can learn to see the dangers, recognize the dangers and properly prepare to avoid most and make it through the rest.
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